Interview with Dasha Nekrasova
Dasha Nekrasova is a filmmaker, actress, and the host of the Red Scare podcast.
Hellraiser
Contents
Max Raskin: What’s your favorite scary movie?
Dasha Nekrasova: The Exorcist or Rosemary's Baby.
MR: You were influenced by The Exorcist?
DN: Yeah, it had a big impact on me.
MR: Did you see it when you were still in Europe or in America?
DN: I've been in America most of my life, but I did see it at a pretty tender age, I think fourth grade, and I knew I wasn't allowed to see it.
MR: Did your parents let you see it?
DN: No, I was in Mexico with a girl from school and we found a VHS of it in some house we were staying at, and we knew we weren't allowed to watch it.
MR: Did you like any of the sequels?
DN: I have a pretty low bar honestly because I like the genre. I guess the third one is good. I don't really remember the second one so well.
Oh, I love the Hellraiser franchise too.
MR: Do you have a favorite clown in fiction?
DN: No.
MR: Is there a clown that comes to mind?
DN: No.
MR: Your dad was in Cirque du Soleil?
DN: Yeah.
MR: Do you have a favorite Cirque du Soleil?
DN: Probably “O.” It's a Vegas one.
MR: What is it like growing up in Vegas?
DN: I didn't love it, but I think I probably wouldn't have liked anywhere suburban.
MR: Did you grow up in a suburb?
DN: Well, we lived in Reno and Atlantic City for a while too, and then went back to Vegas. I guess I did live in a hotel for a while, but mostly we lived in homes outside of the city.
MR: Is there anything that you think captures Las Vegas?
DN: There's a Dave Hickey essay about Las Vegas that I really like.
Also, this isn't strictly Vegas, but there’s a John Gregory Dunne book about Las Vegas called Vegas: A Memoir of a Dark Season. And then I kind of consider Play It As It Lays, the Joan Didion novel, to be vaguely Vegas, even though the protagonist is from a different town in Nevada.
MR: If someone asks where you're from, what do you say?
DN: It depends. I'll say West Coast. Sometimes if they're asking because of my name, I'll say I'm from Belarus, but I grew up in America.
MR: Do you speak fluent Russian?
DN: Mm-hmm.
MR: Do you speak any other languages?
DN: No.
Also Casino. Casino is a great Vegas movie.
MR: Oh, I love that movie. That's such a good movie.
DN: That’s probably the best one.
MR: Do you like Don Rickles?
DN: Yeah.
MR: Who’s your favorite standup comedian?
DN: Norm MacDonald.
MR: You are funny. Was there anyone who influenced your humor?
DN: No, I don't consider myself a comedian.
MR: But you're funny. You have really good timing.
DN: Thank you.
MR: Did you learn from anyone?
DN: No — I think just watching comedy. When I was a kid, I really liked Saturday Night Live.
MR: What was your era?
DN: Will Ferrell.
MR: His George W. Bush.
Palahniuk’s Complaint
MR: Were you always into politics?
DN: No, not at all.
MR: What were you reading when you were 15, 16?
DN: I was reading “transgressive literature.”
MR: Like Chuck Palahniuk?
DN: Chuck Palahniuk, Bukowski. At some point I found out about Portnoy’s Complaint from a list of banned books. So I always had a transgressive impulse. I actually read a lot of Philip Roth as a teenager.
MR: That's not as transgressive as Palahniuk?
DN: Portnoy's Complaint definitely is. Then, I was reading books about middle-aged men whose marriages weren't good.
MR: Between Saul Bellow and Philip Roth?
DN: Philip Roth.
MR: Really?
DN: Mm-hmm.
MR: Oh, I think that's wrong probably.
DN: Well, I have a lot of fondness for Roth.
MR: Interesting.
Sailer Socialism
MR: So you got famous when you were talking about Bernie Sanders while dressed as Sailor Moon. Why were you dressed like that?
DN: That's a good question. I was at South by Southwest. I wasn't really doing a full cosplay. I was just wearing what’s called a fuku top in the Sailor Moon style, and I was promoting an indie that I had made called Wobble Palace. I was wearing that outfit because I had to go take photos at the Getty Portrait Studio.
MR: But why were you wearing that?
DN: I don't know, because I'm kind of a weird weeaboo and I thought it would be good because the film, Wobble Palace, is sort of about the 2016 election. So it felt like a bit of a nod to that with the 4chan-ish atmosphere, internet aesthetics. I didn’t think about it that much, but in hindsight that was my impulse maybe.
MR: What's a weeaboo?
DN: A weeaboo is a white person who loves Japan.
MR: Are you into anime?
DN: I am.
MR: For someone who has never seen or read anime before, what would you recommend they check out?
DN: Well, Neon Genesis Evangelion is, I think, the best, not just anime, but the best work of art ever made.
MR: Really?
DN: A lot of anime is pretty subpar, to be honest. Much like horror movies.
MR: Where’s your favorite place to order sushi from in New York?
DN: I like Ootoya for bento, Maki Kosako for hand rolls, they also have an “uni cup” that I like.
MR: And what do you get? What's your go-to sushi order?
DN: Toro, if they have it. Or whatever is special.
You Kant Say That
MR: You studied philosophy at Mills — who’s the first philosopher or work of philosophy that pops into your mind right now?
DN: Nietzsche. That's what I mainly focused on in school.
MR: What's the last book you read cover-to-cover?
DN: The Brothers Karamazov.
MR: And do you like Russian literature?
DN: I do, yeah.
MR: And what's the last album you listened to front-to-back?
DN: Dave Blunts’ You Can’t Say That.
MR: What were your top songs last year on Spotify?
DN: “Cousins,” by Kanye West, “Avril 14th” by Aphex Twin, and “First Day Out The Hospital,” “One Year Max,” and “Back In The DMV,” all from that Dave Blunts album.
Organizing Principle
MR: You do a lot — how do you actually organize yourself?
DN: I use a day planner.
MR: You hand-write it?
DN: Yeah.
MR: What kind of pen do you use?
DN: It’s called R.S.V.P. It was made for wedding invitations. I buy packs of these.
MR: Who makes your planner?
DN: It's a German company, Leuchtturm. It's kind of like a Moleskine.
MR: What’s in your planner that you’re doing right after this?
DN: Well, I don't have it in my planner, but we posted an episode today, so I'm going to make sure everything's okay with that.
MR: Do you have any apps that people might not have heard of that you really like?
DN: I use this app called Alta that my friend Maddie put me on. It's an AI app that you can put all of your clothes into. It's a little laborious — you have to photograph all of your clothes, but then it will generate outfits for you.
MR: What store or brand do you think you've gotten the most pieces of clothing from?
DN: Sheer volume, probably Brandy Melville, or Los Angeles Apparel.
MR: Other than your calendar, do you write ideas into your day planner?
DN: Sometimes I'll make notes for the pod based on what we're talking about.
MR: Can you give me an example?
DN: Actually, I gave a talk about horror movies at Catholic University back in October, so I made my notes for that in here.
MR: Can you tell me some of the notes?
DN: “Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” It’s a Proverb.
MR: [Says it in Hebrew.]
DN: Yes. Very good.
MR: Yes, yes.
DN: “Conspiracy is like a folk religion.”
Just kind of ideas that I want to explore.
Jung, Proust, and Epstein
MR: Where do you think the most productive place is for you, ideas-wise?
DN: In bed. I'm a little bedridden, to be honest.
MR: Really?
DN: I'm Proustian.
MR: Oh, I like that. Proustian instead of bedridden.
Do you know Thomas Aquinas?
DN: Yeah, of course.
MR: He was very fat. I joke around that he was a very heavy thinker. But instead of calling someone fat you can just call them a Thomist.
DN: That's good. Yeah, a Thomist.
MR: Or Jeffrey Epstein was an Aristotelian.
DN: Right. He was more Augustinian.
MR: Are you depressive? Do you have a depressive streak?
DN: Yeah, but sometimes I have manic upswings.
MR: Have you ever been in therapy?
DN: Mm-hmm.
MR: What kind of therapy?
DN: I'm not currently in therapy. I'd say I'm more melancholic than depressive. That seems less medicalized.
Most recently, I did a Jungian analysis.
MR: You have done analysis?
DN: Not the full, four-days-a-week on the couch thing. But I've met with people who use a more Freudian framework.
MR: But you did a Jungian analysis?
DN: I worked with a Jungian. I've worked with people who used Freudian models before too. I wanted to do Lacanian analysis.
MR: Oh, that's interesting.
DN: I am interested in psychology.
MR: But you gravitate more towards psychoanalysis rather than…
DN: Useful therapies? Yeah.
I know that cognitive behavioral therapy could actually help me — that's why I don't want to do it. I want to talk about my mom and dad.
MR: Analysis is actually much better.
DN: I think it's better for creative people. I think some people probably should just do the behavioral stuff.
MR: I think it’s interesting that with your personality type you’re tremendously productive.
DN: Why do you think that?
MR: How often do you put out a podcast?
DN: Once a week.
MR: And all the movies you’ve done? That is very productive.
DN: Thank you.
Securing Domestic Tranquility
MR: Are you a feinschmecker about anything?
DN: I am, but I don't need the finest.
MR: But you do care about clothes?
DN: Sure.
MR: Do you care about what tissues you use?
DN: No. I buy mid-market. Actually, I use toilet paper to blow my nose.
MR: Is there anything you're fastidious about? Where you will only use x for something?
DN: Lights. I only use incandescent bulbs in my home.
MR: That's right. That's correct.
DN: If the lighting conditions aren't right, I can't function.
MR: You just got married. Had you ever lived with a boyfriend before?
DN: Yeah.
MR: Do you enjoy being married?
DN: I love being married.
MR: What does your husband do?
DN: He’s a carpenter. He works in historic restoration.
MR: Yeah. Do you want to have kids?
DN: Yeah.
Not The Queen’s Gambit
MR: What is your weekly screen time?
DN: Very high. I use my phone as a computer. Let me look.
Oh, daily average, three hours.
MR: That’s not bad at all.
DN: But that's down 60% from last week.
MR: What happened that last week you were on it so much?
DN: I was sick.
MR: When you derp on your phone, what do you do?
DN: I go on X. I scroll.
MR: X is your thing?
DN: Pinterest.
MR: Really?
DN: Mm-hmm.
MR: That's kind of a deep cut.
DN: It's more relaxing. X agitates me and I have to delete it off my phone periodically because I find myself using it too reflexively and then making myself unhappy unnecessarily.
MR: Do you play any games like crossword puzzles?
DN: I play online chess sometimes for hours a day.
MR: I play too. What's your rating?
DN: Not good.
MR: But what?
DN: 1000.
MR: Fine.
DN: Pretty good.
MR: Yeah, that's fine.
DN: Everyone thinks they're better at chess than they are, and I think if more people play chess, they would actually know where they're at. They’d be more honest with themselves in general.
DN: You play the 30-minute or the 10-minute game?
MR: I play 15-minute with a 10-second increment.
DN: Reasonable.
MR: My favorite quote about chess is from Paul Morphy, “The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a wasted life.”
DN: So I worked with a chess tutor for a year.
MR: Because you're Russian, you have to.
DN: Exactly. I was like, “I need to be serviceable in a chess game as a Russian person.”
MR: Oh, obviously. What’s your opening?
DN: e4. Bobby Fischer says it's tested.
My Elo would be higher if I were more diligent, but I really play it mindlessly. Almost like a gambling thing.
MR: And then what about as black?
DN: As black, I try to hit it from the sides. I try and get my bishops out.
MR: Do you cheat?
DN: No, absolutely not.
MR: Is there anyone in the chess world who interests you that you watch?
DN: No.
MR: Even Magnus?
DN: I actually don't like Magnus. I like the Zoomer who beat him that everyone says was cheating. Hans Niemann is his name.
And I like the Botez sisters because they're beautiful.
But I don't watch gameplay or anything.
MR: Did your parents want you to learn chess when you were younger?
DN: I did learn chess when I was younger. I think my grandfather maybe taught it to me, but there wasn’t an expectation that I would be a chess player.
Came and Saw
MR: What was your grandfather like?
DN: Both of them lived in Belarus. One was a military orphan and the other one was a more of a criminal type.
MR: Really?
DN: Mm-hmm.
MR: Are you into genealogy at all?
DN: Yeah, but mine is so murky. World War II just decimated the Belarusian population so it’s hard to piece together. It’s tragic. I was looking into it recently and it all made me so depressed. It’s like that film Come and See. My maternal great-grandfather was killed by Nazis, then his wife died of starvation five years later, and so their son ended up in a military orphanage. Loads of suffering on all sides, and not even so long ago. It’s all really tragic.
MR: And then your dad's family, also Belarusian?
DN: Mm-hmm. My mom’s side I think is more Baltic/Polish, possibly formerly szlachta, though everyone kind of says that from over there because they like to think they have aristocratic lineage. On my dad’s side more Russian/Ukrainian, maybe even a bit Balkan.
Mom and Dad
MR: How did their parents feel about them being entertainers?
DN: Well, great. So in the Soviet planned economy, both my parents were gymnasts. The classic thing, training as children, gymnastics six days a week.
MR: Oh, wow.
DN: So when you do something like that, you either continue doing athletics or you transition into performing. They were in the Moscow Circus before we came to America once my dad started working with Cirque du Soleil…that’s what you do when you have that skillset.
MR: Do they still do it?
DN: They have a company that does. They're older now, but my dad still works as a stage technician and they have a company that does entertainment for events in Las Vegas.
MR: What are their politics? Is it the typical ex-Soviet right-wing skepticism?
DN: No, no, no because they're younger they don’t have the same associations as older people from the former Eastern Bloc. They're Gen-X liberals.
MR: Just regular liberals?
DN: Like MSNBC. Normal progressives, not afflicted with terminal TDS [Trump Derangement Syndrome] but not right-wing really.
MR: How much do they follow your career?
DN: Not super-duper closely, but they're aware.
MR: When this thing with Fuentes happens do they know about it?
DN: They did, yeah. A lot of people knew about that.
Fuentes
MR: I guess I'm not interested in the deep psychology of getting cancelled but about the actual mechanics. How do you find out about that? Do you get a text message? When do you know something's happening?
DN: I had a conversation with one of my former agents, who was telling me that she was sorry and that she could recommend a crisis publicist for me to talk to.
MR: But when does it become clear to you that it's becoming a thing? And that there are stories written about you and stories about the stories.
DN: Usually when a crisis publicist is invoked...
MR: [Laughs hard.]
Was your phone blowing up?
DN: Well, I got the text that said, "I'm writing a piece for Deadline about how you were dropped." So I knew that that was coming.
MR: And do you get a feeling in the pit of your stomach when that happens?
DN: Yeah.
MR: And it just doesn't feel good, right?
DN: It feels horrible. I’m pretty numb to it at this point having been “cancelled” and disparaged so much, every once in a while I’ll get a Google name alert and see I’m vaguely in trouble for something, but with the Fuentes situation it definitely felt like a substantial public shaming. The worst aspect of it was almost the delay. We did our interview with him over a month prior, and no one actually seemed to care, because he’d been doing so many shows, and we’d had controversial guests before so it wasn’t like “Oh she really did it this time.” But after Tucker had him on the denouncement cascade started, so I felt like I kind of caught a stray in that regard.
And then of course that Hollywood Reporter article about that one guy who had been emailing my reps for years. So that was sad and unfortunate for my agents, who should have in theory protected me, to capitulate to the demands of someone so clearly unwell.
Byzantine Questions
MR: What does your religious practice look like?
DN: I'm a Catholic.
MR: Do you pray every day?
DN: I try to.
MR: Do you have a set liturgy that you do every day?
DN: Well, I'm a Byzantine Catholic.
MR: Are they in communion with the Catholic Church?
DN: They are, yeah. But they're more Eastern Orthodox liturgically. So we do the same Divine Liturgy and are the same rite as an Orthodox church.
MR: Smells and bells.
In what language do you pray?
DN: In English.
MR: Do you floss?
DN: No.
MR: Not at all?
DN: Not at all.
MR: Why don't you floss?
DN: I don't think to do it. And I've never had a cavity.
MR: What!
DN: Yeah. I've never had any dental problems.
DN: And I don't go to the dentist, and I brush my teeth and that feels like enough.
MR: What kind of toothbrush do you use?
DN: I recently got an Italian one that has stiff bigger bristles that I like — “Piave Tynex.”
MR: What kind of toothpaste do you use?
DN: Sensodyne.
MR: Do you have sensitive teeth?
DN: No. Not particularly.
MR: Interesting.
DN: I don't like a blue gel, I like a white opaque toothpaste.
MR: How often do you go to church?
DN: Every Sunday. Sometimes I falter, but I'm practicing.
MR: Does that give you any comfort when something like the Fuentes thing is happening?
DN: For sure. "If the world hates you, remember it hated me first."
The Confessions of Nekrasova
MR: Do you go to confession?
DN: Yes.
MR: I don't want to ask you what your sins are, but what genre of sin do you find yourself confessing to?
DN: Well, when you go to confession, you do the moral inventory and some things weigh on you. Sometimes you really know that you have sinned, but sometimes you think categorically and take note of transgressions you can recall.
MR: Are your sins personal sins like being a glutton or more interpersonal or more divine?
DN: Mostly being neglecting of prayers. I'd say the main category of sin overall is having earthly preoccupations.
MR: Do you meditate? There's a strong monastic strain in Byzantine Catholicism, no?
DN: Hesychasm, you mean?
MR: Yes!
DN: No, I'm not very ascetic.
MR: Do you believe in God?
DN: Of course.
MR: Do you believe in an afterlife?
DN: Yes. I'd like to mention that my husband's Orthodox, people assume he’s Catholic but we’re in an inter-faith marriage actually.
MR: What kind? Eastern?
DN: Yeah.
MR: Is he Russian?
DN: No, no. He converted, but he prays the Psalter every day. He's very good.
MR: My wife wanted me to ask you something.
DN: Is she wondering if I'm a submissive wife?
MR: No.
MR: She wanted me to ask what's your marriage advice as someone who is known as being disagreeable?
DN: I prioritize harmoniousness in my marriage. I think you should be deferential to your husband and if you don't respect him enough to be, then you shouldn't have married him.
MR: A man has to do exactly what his wife wants or else he would risk losing his independence.
DN: That’s good. John Chrysostom says that a man must love his wife even if she doesn't respect him, and a wife must respect her husband even if he doesn't love her.
MR: If your wife takes on your name you have to be on better behavior.
DN: That's very true.
Free Associations
MR: Ok so we’ll do the free associative round now.
The Grateful Dead
DN: Bears.
MR: Jazz music.
DN: Bad.
MR: Jazz music bad? What about rap music?
DN: I don't know. Medium.
MR: Bernie Sanders?
DN: 2016.
MR: Ron Paul.
DN: Libertarian.
MR: Who's the first actor that comes to your mind?
DN: James Ransone just died.
MR: The Wire?
DN: Yeah, Ziggy. He just died so he comes to mind.
MR: The Sopranos?
DN: Therapy.
MR: How about Freud?
DN: Was right.
MR: Lacan?
DN: Pervert.
MR: Pervert?
DN: Mm. He's more of a charlatan.
MR: What do you think about the Lion King?
DN: I think good? wholesome fun.
MR: Shakespeare?
DN: I had my wedding reception at The Players club. It's Shakespearean.
MR: All the world's a stage.
DN: Obviously, all the world's a stage. Exactly.
MR: Hamlet?
DN: Ophelia.